Self Leadership Day 5: Overcoming your fears, School Of Inspired Leadership, Gurgaon

 What a better day to throwing away our fears than 4th of July which eventually is the United States of America's Independence day. Today's Self Leadership class was how to cope up with our fears.

We discovered certain antidotes to fears. Before that the concept that Vision multiplied to efforts will give value enhancement while vision when added with fear will destruct the value we already possess. Hence giving up of fears is essential to move ahead in life.

The first technique was Gestalt which each of us in the class did to overcome the fear of failure. In this technique we folded a paper once in the middle. The front side of the paper was used to pictorially draw an image on how would success look like after a year at School of Inspired Leadership. On the opposite side of the fold we had to draw how would failure look like if everything went wrong. Thereafter we had to draw a picture inside the folds combining both the earlier pictures and showing how will you overcome all the fears of failure and will do what you have dreamt to. It was in my view again a healing exercise.

There is also a theory called as Learning Circle which has the following steps:

   1)      Experience the new paradigm (might come with Vision) 

   2)      Denial of new paradigm 

   3)      Anger with the new paradigm

   4)      Chaos- May be?

   5)      Unlearn the old (Let it go)

   6)      Aha!! (The Eureka Moment)

   7)      Imbibe the new paradigm

In life we always have some resistance whenever we want to do something. One should understand that resistance is the need for electricity generation and similarly it is only through overcoming resistances that we can do great work. All great work in this world is a story of how someone came over resistance. So if one overcomes this resistance then he/she can achieve anything that they want to. There is a study done by few University of Michigan professors on how to overcome resistance and they gave the following formula:

D X V X F > R

Where R: Resistance in life

             D: Dissatisfied with life to achieve more (realise the true potential); like Sachin Tendulkar put 

                 new efforts everyday.

             V: Powerful Vision (Imagine what exactly you want to do)

             F: First steps or rather huge Efforts (to channelize the vision)

Remember that every performance gap that comes in is not because of lack of ability but because of lack of effort.

Anil Sir also told us that there are two types of spirituality 1) Passive Spirituality: (‘Vairagya’ in hindi) This spirituality is practiced by the great masters in caves or secluded places where their only aim is to come out of the cycle of birth & death. 2) Dynamic Spirituality: It is to stay in the world and make efforts by contributing to change the world to a better place.

Another way to overcome the fear is by controlled experimentation on risk taking in a safe environment. Certain workshops like FIRE WALK WORKSHOP help you in this. We might have this workshop this year at SOIL.

                To overcome the fears of criticism hear feedback from your best friend. Take honest review, accept them, evaluate and see if that is true then work on them. A true friend is the one who shows you the mirroe. He will never put you down but tells you how you are not using your capabilities to the full.

                To overcome the allergy to ambiguity one should just accept what new information they get and try to learn them as not all things are present in black and white. People with humanities background can accept ambiguity in a much better way that people who are engineers or are calculative in approach.

                The fear of time and resource scarcity is when people look at scarcity rather than abundance. Few tips are plan your day, honour what you have, multitasking, optimum usage of resources, frugal innovations etc.

                To overcome the fear of nature on should take a nature walk in a garden, do gardening, appreciate nature, hear birds sing and be in the company of people who can bring you closer to nature.

                After the workshop I thought about my own fears and realised that I have only one of them and I have already started working on it. Hopefully I overcome that and then there will be no stopping! J

(Courtesy: Anil Sachdev, Self Leadership class at School of Inspired Leadership, Gurgaon)

Self Leadership Day 4: Make better Decisions (School of Inspired Leadership)

27^th June 2013

Self Leadership lesson today was mostly related to the art of taking decisions. It was about the mysterious ways in which the minds plays with us so let us control it or rather know it more deeply. Human Brain has two parts – Left part which helps to analyse or the masculine brain and Right part which is led by emotions or the feminine part. Leaders who use both the analytical and emotional side of brain are self leaders who know to weigh both sides of the brain.

The Analytical Ability which the left brain is known for is mostly inherited. It is your genes which give you analytical ability. Good Education and training can help you to improve on this part. It is your parent’s gift to you. There are basically the following ways in which one can develop analytical skills:

1)      Create a frame: it is understanding the most critical question behind the problem. One should ask the right questions as it is more important than getting the right answers. Life is to ask the right questions, fix them and move ahead.

2)      Get meaningful & reliable information through various sources

3)      Several creative and doable alternatives

4)      Criteria in terms of risks and returns

5)      Check on values and trade offs if any

6)      Prepare for implementation

Feedback is required at every step of the above steps.

One can you X-matrix method, Snake Board method diagram and much more to come up with more analytical decisions.

The Creative emotional brain has the childlike inquisitiveness. It is full of creativity and has direct connection to the consciousness. It is mostly curbed down due to fears of several types and people’s creativity dies as they grow. The good news is that one can become creative at anytime in life J The only need is to cope up with the below five kind of fears which one may/may not have:

1)      Fear of failure: Mostly parents instill it in their wards unknowingly.

2)      Fear of Criticism

3)      Fear of Ambiguity: Mostly people want things in black and white everytime which is not possible in real life.

4)      Fear of Lack of Time & resources

5)      Fear of nature which is also called as starved sensibility.

One should meditate on their fears and try to get rid of them.

Be a leader and lead your brain J

(Courtesy: Mr. Anil Sachdev-CEO, School of Inspired Leadership, Self leadership trainer)

Self Leadership Day 3 : Emotional Leadership (School Of Inspired Leadership)

The Self Leadership class today was a unique exercise as it brought our cohort closer to each other as one community. Each one appeared in a state of trance after the exercise of EMOTIONAL CATHARSIS got over. We will come to that exercise in detail but before that it is important to know what led to that exercise.

Anil Sachdeva Sir started with a general notion that it is a basic human tendency to see what is wrong and to crib about that. Only few saints have the power to see the goodness in all even in a dacoit. Certainly normal human mind has the natural tendency to crib. We start with cribbing and it gives some sort of satisfaction but a lot of it can actually lead to depression. There are various kinds of depressions too in which BIPOLAR DEPRESSION is something in which a person feels violent at on point and happy at another point. It all happens since human mind has a flipside to its good side.

We also came to know that there are three states of being which are unconscious, sub-conscious and conscious level. Most of the sadness that exist comes from UNSTATED EMOTIONAL EXPECTATIONS. These expectations create an URGE and we feel that things are out of our control. Though these EXPECTATIONS lead to sadness mainly due to GUILT or REGRET which one starts having.  Most of the great leaders are not being able to reach their VISION is due to emotional expectations which they are enslaved to.

Here is when Emotional Catharsis comes as a tool to get rid of something that is bothering and to clean up all the pent up emotions by sharing it with people who can confide. It is an important way to lead your mind. We started Emotional Catharsis in our cohort with three rules that we will not JUDGE anyone, will listen patiently, will keep the confidentiality inside the class. We know we all have a bright and a dark side so it was time to reveal the darker side. It was also an exercise to built a community which is Community in Unity.

The process started with we forming a small circle where Anil Sir looked at each one and prayed though I thought it was some sort of Hypnotism J The circle created a vibration of energy where each one of us was ready to reveal our saddest part. First one to reveal was Anil Sir himself so that the process starts as he showed that being a leader even he is vulnerable. Anil Sir’s confessions were direct from heart and it touched us all and few of us already started crying. We were in groups of 5 sitting around a circular table. Each ones story of their confessions was very different and touchy. Be it boy or girl we all related with the stories in someway and had tears in our eyes. Like happiness even sadness is contagious as observed by Shweta later. In those moments of confessions we hardly thought about the outside world but were happy in the small world around the table. Lot of trust, emotions, sharing happened. All that sadness we offered to the fire of the candle which was lit infront of us. Those moments of revelation will be cherished by me forever. THAT TABLE AND ITS MEMBERS ARE SPECIAL TO ME NOW.

Learning from this whole exercise is that most of the sadness that one has is due to some kind of loss where one could have done something but one did not or was unable to. It was at times due to lack of efforts and at time due to situations beyond ones control. So no matter what happened and what is happening there is always HOPE a bright Hope to FIGHBACK and return to your brighter side. No matter how bad it all went? how many times you failed? But there is a place where you can always go and be what you really are and that place is YOUR OWN FAMILY.  Indian Family tradition is why our society is so resilient as we used to have these communities where we shared in family. So let us spread this word to the entire world to learn this from India so that lots of stress, depression and sadness can find no place. Let us lead the world with the light to brighten up your family life for peace and harmony. 

Self Leadership Day 2: School Of Inspired Leadership

 Emotions and feelings are the root cause of all happiness and sadness in this world. With a world full of experiences which are profound in developing our own personalities takes us through emotions which make us learn lessons for a life time. 

Our emotional mind gets it’s data from the five senses to see, listen, touch, smell and taste.  Positive emotions motivate us and keep us happy and energy is conserved in the body to do more. Negative emotions drain us of energy and in turn our productivity and happiness reduces. The emotional mind senses the data and sends it to the intellectual mind to comprehend it. There should be a sync between the emotional and the intelligent mind to reach that state of Equipoise which is a great quality of a self leader. It helps a leader to tap into all the abilities beyond he/she ever imagined. This in turn keeps the Spirit lord within us to be nearer to the purposes we are born with.

Emotional mind controls the five senses and hence the way it receives or rather perceives can also change. An emotional mind gives the strength from being a victim to a victor who can achieve anything he/she thinks they want to. It helps us to connect with the internal energy which we often forget about which is the OMKAR, Krishna, Allah. Equipoise state acts as a charioteer where we control our own supreme character to understand and to do what is right.

Emotional mind generates the following  C’s in a person. They are 1) Character, 2) Commitment, 3) Confidence. Organisations too realise the potential of the emotional mind in maintaining equilibrium in the organisation. Vision/Strategy represent the Gyan Yoga and represent one end of tasks. The other end is Body/Execution or rather Karma Yoga which carries out these tasks. The middle balancing point is the leadership/emotional mind or Bhakti yoga. The balance point should generate positivity in the organisation so that both the ends remain in alignment.

Commitment of the heart is necessary before someone  start anything. To build emotional connect is important to engage people at emotional level. It builds TRUST.

In a listening exercise where there was an interaction between ego and altar ago there was a learning that we can comprehend only approximately 10% of what someone really intends to express. The law of floatation works here as well. To understand what floats below the ocean we need to be more trustworthy for each other. Also a calm and peaceful mind listens better. In a way if you ooze out positivity by controlling your sense of listening then you can be a better leader. Take each day as a new beginning and forgive.

The emotional mind with positivity can help us to listen better, enhance the warmthness in us, help us to respect others without being judgemental and can make us a genuine person in whom people can trust. It can thereby help us in both interpersonal and intrapersonal communication to be more self aware. If you ever feel that you are alone then shout to yourself, “I AM NOT ALONE, GOD IS WITH ME” and there you have a relationship for a lifetime.

Emotional mind is which determines our joys. Pleasure with awareness equals joy. When we work with our gifts then joy comes due to our inherent nature. Just try to identify your gifts and work with them. Try to seek everyday what have you done for your happiness. It is your birthright to be joyful .  Let us be happy first to spread that all around as that is what the basic human need is for. Cater to your emotional potential of being in a state of bliss and rest for all times to come.

Self Leadership Day 1: School of Inspired Leadership

Starting from today is a journey which I know is going to be really interesting. “Lead yourself”  is what the self leadership series by Anil Sachdev Sir is going to focus on.

The story telling exercise made us all realise that “We are all the narrative of our Life.” Therefore choose the language, tone and incidents very carefully and see the difference J. In a group of 6 we shared our life stories till now. Each member got five minutes each to narrate their stories. Few of the learning from this exercise are as follows:

1)      There has always been a spiritual or divine intervention in people’s life in someway.

2)      Childhood has been special for almost everyone in the group.

3)      Each one has a story and future goal to achieve.

4)      Everyone had a turning point which made them learn more.

5)      Everything that has happened has been for good.

6)      Each one is striving in their own way to do good for themselves and for others.

There are 7 levels of consciousness which Humans undergo to achieve the 7^th innermost level.

Going from the Outer circle to the innermost they are as follows:

1)      Perceptional Inteligence: Outermost Circle.  It comes from the body has all the five senses which perceive and gather data. The more observant one is the more data one will have.

2)      Breathe Leadership:  Second circle. It makes us learn how to breathe and let the past life instinct not interfere us in this life. Yoga helps us to control our breathe and have a balanced aptitude.

3)      Emotional Intelligence: It is the third circle of emotions. It is how we relate to people and how deep relationships we can have. “Jag Jeeta to Mann Jeeta” is how we need to deal with this intelligence. It makes us too emotional to sound logical.  Your ability to balance the emotional mind is the best way to be a self leader. Equipoise/ Stitha Pragnya is what we should try to strive for . It is the ability to lead through the polarity of the opposites.

4)      Intellectual Mind: It is the fourth circle which turns the data gathered from circle one to meaningful information and then to knowledge. It helps us to lead our intellectual self. It helps us in decision making and realising your “SANKALP”

5)      Ego: It is the fifth circle which manifests anger, lust, attachment, jealousy. We should conquer our Ego and lead.

6)      Wisdom Leadership:  It is the sixth circle which comes into play when one has conquered the Ego and has turned into a wise leader.

7)      “I” Consciousness: It is that innermost circle which helps to realise the unlimited potential of all human beings. It opens all to creativity and to realise the full potential. It makes one realise that there are infinite possibilities.

All these circles interact with one and another and are interconnected.

If one can realise in practise the above circles then probably the CAUSE that drives one would be more clear. One would lead for that cause and the whole eternity will come closer to get the cause fulfilled. I am really loving the self-leadership series and to apply it in my life.

Right or Wrong – THE TRUTH

Do not we all find ourselves gripped in an everlasting question of what is right and what no so right/wrong?

Life throws on us a double or at times multiple options to choose from and to decide the right thing.

There is nothing right or wrong. In this world each one ofus is a unique creature with unique socializing environment that moulded us. It thus gavein the unique culture of our own i.e. our personality. Hence, we all think inour own way when a matter pops up. More of us who are adapted to the pre-conditions popped intoour young minds when we were tiny tots would behave same. Some of those wholearnt most of the things by their own thinking processes usually do not followthe lot. They might be called rebels but are the most creative people usually. Theymight not adhere to the things supposed to be RIGHT by the culture of thatplace as they may be in a process to form a completely different culture. A NEWWAY FORWARD from the way usually labelised as WRONG. We should think more on this.

The only truth is live life to the fullest with

passion for whatever one thinks is his life`s mission

on earth!!! The only truth is that there is no truth. It

is a matter of perspectives because of the life situations.

Comments anyone?

Is Constitution the new document of the contemporary religions, 'Nationalism' ? and ‘Humanism’ the way ahead?

Most probably and as few studies show religion started ever since humans started living in groups/clans. Religion was 'the way to live life'- 'Sanatan Dharma' as in vedic scriptures. Not just the Sanatan Dharma(Note: 'Hinduism' was coined by British for all the followers of Sanatan Dharma who lived in the area of 5 main rivers in which 'Sindhu' or Indus was the prime) but all major religions of the world such as Christianity, Islam, Buddhism are based on Humankind. All the religions want human integrity and solidarity to exist in society. Religion lays down the universal laws or principles, governed by the basic psychological consciousness or the collective consciousness of the human society in relation to the mother earth. Hence the concept of "Vasudev Kutumbakam" where the whole world is perceived as one large family without any boundaries was the bedrock of all major religions.

The only interpretation of any religion of the world should be of 'being more human' by harmoniously existing with every entity of the Universe. This will only promulgate social harmony and solidarity. The other interpretations of religion have and will only spread fundamentalism and disintegration of the society. Hence, leading humans to an era of everlasting unhappiness. We all know this, we all are aware but a meagre population of the crowded earth follows it. Mostly, it is because of the vested interest groups and wrong interpretations of the religion.

The contemporary world is divided into several nations by manmade imaginative lines. These Nations have there own code of conduct for citizens in the form of constitution. Constitution too seems to provide laws and principles based on the psychology of the society of the Nation. The aim of the constitution is again as that of the religion i.e. Social integrity. No Nation wants to be classified as the failed state as it signifies that the social disintegration has happened. Thus the functioning of the constitution seems to attain the effect of the religion. Hence constitution provides for growth of NATIONALISM. Nationalism fills in a sense of brotherhood, homogeneity in beliefs and aims and guides citizens to follow a path to attain happiness. It maintains Nation as the epitome of pride for which every citizen works.

We feel proud when we are known by our Nationality such as Indians, Dutch, Chinese, British etc as it reflects our laws, our constitution, our people and our social solidarity. Let’s ponder upon few more questions which I am going to ask the readers of this article.

1) Why cannot we think we are 'humans' first and always?

2) If we are humans, what do we all want to attain? ----->Happiness is it?

3) Is our 'need' overriding our 'want'?

4) Why cannot we follow the religion of all religions "HUMANISM" ?

5) Why "Vasudev Kutumbakam" is overridden by "globalisation"(mostly economic effects as of now)?

6) Why cannot we have a Constitution for the whole world in order to promote world solidarity?----->See EU developments

7) Why we cannot be earth citizens? ----->Will solve most of the problems.

8) Are we already moving ahead for 'Humanism'? or Are at the tipping point of the collapse of the human civilization?